You must have heard the analogy before: programming is like giving the computer a recipe to make the program you wish to build.  Let me tell you: programming is much, much easier.

We’ve all been there, following ‘a simple recipe’ containing uniquely bonkers metric and imperial measures and mocking vagueness of instructions like “lightly brown”, “rolling boil” or “until the texture of porridge” and we’ve ended up with a horrific mess we’ll just call dinner.  It’s edible, sure: but it’s worryingly reminiscent of the result of someone dragging a hot frying pan through an abattoir sluice and then topping it with next door’s food waste recycling served with mayonnaise.

As a direct opposite, if you follow a well written programming guide, you’ll get exactly what they got and learn from mistakes.  You can save at various points and in most modern languages you can try something out as you go – essentially you can lick the spoon throughout the process.  Programming in a scripting language like PHP, Python or Javascript is very try and see, much better than waiting for Pascal or C compiling back when I learned to code.

I’ve come to believe cooking is a skill you either ‘have’ or ‘have not’.  I’m sure I’m able to be taught to cook a certain specific recipe using the tools present in that kitchen; but maybe I’m wired wrong, I cannot cook even though I want to be able to.  Maybe it is the subtlety of cookery instructions given – you either understand them a priori and make glorious presentable or you research what was instructed, copy the procedure as described and end up with marginally edible results.

My usual poached egg results

I present the horrifying idiosyncratic world of the poaching eggs method.  If anyone ever asks me to poach an egg I will just fry the damn eggs and save the mess, disruption and ridiculousness of the attempt.  They’re not that nice, I mean I’d not really pick it in my top three egg cooking methods.  However, against my better judgement, this morning I decided on a whim to poach some eggs (results above) and even using a device sold to aid the process I ended up with what I like to call Egg Soup.  Bravely, I fished out the larger coagulated masses, served it on some toast and with some salt and pepper.  I enjoyed the result; given I was very hungry, but towards the latter part of the consumption process I spied some mould on the crust of the remaining bread, threw the rest away and now have the sneaking suspicion that for the remainder of the day I’ll have psychosomatic stomach discomfort.

So let us consider a recipe for Poached Eggs.

Preparation method

1. Fill a small pan just over one third full with cold water and bring it to the boil.
2. Add the vinegar and turn down to simmer.
3. Crack the eggs one at a time into a small bowl and gently tip into the simmering water.
4. Lightly poach for 3-4 minutes.
5. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on kitchen towels.

BBC Food Recipes

You might think that if you don’t pay for something, but are unhindered in using it, it’s not costing you anything.  It is with this in mind I have to disagree when someone tells me some software is free.

As a non-digital example you might consider the air, which doesn’t cost you anything and you have unhindered access to it.  So you might presume that the use of some software is the same, especially things like web browsers which you can freely download and install for free – but it depends on what you are giving up to use that software.

For instance, if you look at Google Chrome, you install it for free but you give Google a way of gathering data about your browsing habits; essentially you sign up to being guinea pigs for Google.  Furthermore, at any time, Google can withdraw that software; they have no reason to support your use or any legal obligation to improve it.  There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but you need to be aware of just how free that software is.  In addition to owning a free piece of software, Google prevent you from seeing inside it.  They have a commercial and legal right to protect its software from competition and illegal use.  This is where free software gets really hard to decipher.

If I buy a sandwich, I can look inside it and add mayonnaise if I like.  If I buy a car, I can repair a headlight myself to continue using the car at night.  If I buy a book, I can make notes inside it and use it for purposes unintended by the publisher: I could use it as part of a stack of items to prop up a couch, for example.  Software isn’t like this at all.

Remember those EULAs you’ve signed?  They’re End User License Agreements, and you must “Accept” or “Agree” to them in order to install most software – even the free bits.  They often protect the software company from people making claims of damages if the software fails to work as expected. they might prevent you from amending the software and profiting from resale.  Essentially they’re saying you agree that you can’t add mayonnaise to your free sandwich, repair your free car’s headlamp or use your free book to prop up your couch.  So you’re giving away your consumer and ownership rights, which you’re quite happy to do.  So it’s a little less free again.

In opposition, there is a movement of Free and Open Source Software (FOSS) which differentiates itself from this “Closed Source” EULA protected software, by an easy distinction: It’s Free as in Free Speech, not Free as in Free Beer.  The FOSS movement doesn’t prevent you from doing anything from their software, however you intend to use it.  They just hope you’ll use it and enjoy it, maybe even become involved in the project and make things better.